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Flutter

Deborah Shaw (Aurora Engine)

Flutter is a vocal and sonic exploration of Tourette’s syndrome, vocal and physical tics.

Composer and sound artist Deborah Shaw (Aurora Engine) presents Flutter, an electronic-infused choral suite inspired by her lived experience of both vocal and physical tics. Having experienced tics (Tourette’s Syndrome) since early childhood, which are exacerbated by anxiety, this work explores living with and managing tics and how sound and singing can serve as a mental health tonic. Additionally, the composition addresses masking in women, aligning with the festival’s theme of In/Visible.

Composed for four voices – Deborah Shaw, Emma Lloyd, Caro Overy and John Hails – some pieces have a jarring tone to represent the rhythm and pitch of both physical and vocal tics. As the piece progresses, it transitions into a harmonious blend of choral and ambient electronic elements, culminating in a euphoric soundscape that symbolises the calming effect of sound and singing on the body. Certain works occupy a dark, liminal space where mental health issues often reside, whilst also exploring the artist’s relationship with conformity. The compositions embrace the beauty of sound as a therapeutic tool and celebrate human imperfection.

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Premonitory Urges

Premonitory Urges is a sonic exploration of the sensation experienced by Tourette’s sufferers which is an overwhelming sensation to perform a tic, an experience similar to the urge to blink. This work uses sound and voice to express this buildup and release. It also uses sine and saw waves to act as a grounding solace providing a drone underneath the vocals. Other sounds include groans and also vocalised inhales, common tics experienced personally by the artist. As the piece progresses, it transitions into a harmonious blend of choral and ambient electronic elements, culminating in a euphoric soundscape that symbolises the calming effect of sound and singing on the body.

Flutter

Flutter explores the constant interruption of Tourette’s to everyday life, through small sounds as well as the shame which can be experienced when experiencing tics.

A collection of erratic, arhythmic voclisations are counterbalanced by soothing lullaby-esque humming, exploring both shame and empathy. Fragments of spoken word explore the complexities of this condition alongside public perception. The work addresses the festival theme of Invisible, particularly considering masking in women (Tourette’s is often underdiagnosed in women, or symptoms are less noticeable whilst still being present).

Sit Still

Sit Still is a choral composition for four voices that delves into society’s assumption that stillness comes naturally. It challenges the notion that movement—such as fidgeting or wriggling—is a sign of disengagement, immaturity, or misbehavior. The work draws on the artist’s reflections on her own self-criticism for struggling to achieve stillness, especially in moments when it feels most necessary.

Wax and Wane

Wax and Wane is a vocal exploration of the shifting nature of tics within the body, transforming from physical motion to vocal expressions, varying in complexity and intensity throughout the artist’s life. Tics, particularly those linked with Tourette’s, often diminish or become less visible at certain times of day or during different life stages. Stress can exacerbate them, while at other times, they retreat inward, becoming internal sensations only the person experiencing them can feel, yet still causing interruptions, like a subtle flutter beneath the skin.